Will The Truth Help or Hurt Your Relationship? Part 1

Think back and remember how your relationship was just when it was starting?

Talking together all night! Sharing your hopes, dreams and desires, your inner, and often very private, secrets. And a strong bond formed. But, after a while, you talked less and less. The all night sessions became a thing of the past. It just didn’t seem to matter.

Things were great in the beginning. The level of trust you had and the open communication brought about a wonderful level of intimacy and common understanding between you.

But were did it all go? Even more importantly, how do you get it back?

For my part I made a huge amount of mistakes!

I closed up, became uncommunicative and withdrawn, and excused myself with ‘I’m shielding my partner from …… whatever’

And more self deception……

• ‘It’s kinder not to say what I’m thinking’
• ‘Controlling what comes out of my mouth’s the right thing to do’
• ‘Better to say nothing than get into an argument’
• ‘If I say something it’ll go on forever and ever’

I didn’t know at the time that was foolish. Didn’t know all I was doing was killing my relationship, one little bit at a time.

After a while there was no relationship, the bond was cracking. I was cutting myself off from my partner and we were drawing apart, the misunderstandings were deepening.

We were both becoming isolated from each other and the frustrations, mistrust and anger was worsening.

Two people. Alone.

I was hiding, not opening up, frightened that if my partner knew all my ugly thoughts, my hidden secrets, the relationship would break up completely.

So I hid what I thought, kept my thoughts to myself, and, unconsciously, withdrew further and further.

Some people distance themselves and withhold from their partner and add an extra, manipulative twist by putting on a show of emotional pain, the thought being that it will make the partner respond to them. But none of its verbalized, and the partner is still left guessing as to the reason for it.

You may think you’re protecting your partner from painful situations and possibly painful thoughts, but in reality by holding secrets and withdrawing you’re killing the intimacy and trust in the relationship. Your relationship is dying, one day at a time.

But I have good news…….

You see, you can have an ‘okay’ relationship, where you hide your thoughts out of fear, where you fail to connect emotionally, where it’s ’so – so’. Or you can have a superb relationship, close, loving, intimate, trusting and full of compassion and understanding, a lasting bond of love.

It’s never impossible to bring back all those great emotions, understanding and love you had in the beginning.

But you have to be willing to work at it, and you have to be very clear in your mind what you need to do, and why you need to do it.

In the next posting I’ll lay out a ‘game plan’ that’s worked for thousands, and explain how and why it works. For all people, at all times.

Keep an eye open for Part 2

CAUTION: The relationship advice in this post is only a brief introduction to this important subject, and should NOT be used without the benefit of the additional, and detailed, methods and step by step plans, contained in one of the top rated relationship guides reviewed on this blog. Before you take any steps to improve your relationship, please make sure you are using the additional, and vital, information from one of these relationship guides, as failure to do so could lead to you making serious mistakes.