Given the availability of statistics outlining the prevalence of
infidelity in marriages and relationships, it’s hardly surprising
that many people like you find themselves in search of answers.

Is your partner cheating on you now? Have they cheated on you in
the past? Is that friendship with a co-worker more than just a
friendship? When your spouse calls you and tells you they are
working late, is it really a late night at the office? When you
call your spouse on their cell phone, and they don’t answer or call
back, do you wonder why? Does your spouse answer their cell phone
and have conversations without telling you who it is?

Any one of these things can point to a spouse cheating, but equally
there may be an innocent explanation. But in order to be self-aware
of the impact of infidelity, we need to look at the statistics.

Recent studies indicate that up to 55% of married woman and 60% of
married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another over
the course of their married life. (Atwood and Schwartz, 2002 -
Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy)

Another study points to the fact that 33% of divorce litigation is
caused by online affairs. (This Is An Internet E-Mergency, The
Fortino Group)

Even Playboy Magazine’s surveys indicate that 86% of men and 81% of
women admit they routinely flirt with the opposite sex, and a
staggering 75% of men and 65% of women admit to having sex with
people they work with.

With statistics like these, is giving your spouse the benefit of
the doubt a signal of your loyalty, or naivety?

A group of relationships experts and therapist friends of mine were
discussing the validity of long-term relationships recently, and
they all came to the same conclusion. The expectation that your
spouse will be faithful to you all your married life is no longer
really there. We hope that they are faithful, and we pray that they
love us enough to want to be with us for the rest of our lives, but
there are no guarantees.

Some people blame the fast pace of modern life. Some people blame
the internet and the social networking capabilities that come with
it through chat rooms and dating sites. Others blame the
advent of shift work and the death of the weekend. Single-income
families are becoming a thing of the past. Little time or
consideration is given for family time or quality time for couples.

Marriages become less about lifetime commitment and more about
convenience and a way of reaching personal and material goals. Role
models in society are seen to be dating and divorcing with
increased frequency.

So what does this mean for you and your search for the truth?

It means considering your expectations of your partner and your
marriage. It means preparing yourself for finding truth that may
hurt you. It means formulating an appropriate response to your
spouse. It may also involve you examining your lifestyle and seeing
if its compatible with a committed relationship.

You know what I mean, the stuff that keeps couples together. Do you
make time for one another during the week? How often do you talk,
not about anything in particular, but just about how your day was
and how life is going? Is it something you do while you are cooking
the meal, or is it something you do in those moments before you
fall asleep?

How often are you alone with your spouse, no children, just you and
him/her? Once a week? Once a month? Almost never?

Do you work similar shifts to your partner, or do you pass each
other in the door between jobs?

Do you both work in the same town, or does one of you work out of
state, or out of the country for extended periods? What do you
feel this separation is doing for your marriage?

I see so many couples get caught up in the details of their
everyday lives that they forget to make time for the relationship.
It’s not a criticism. It happens from time to time, but how often
do you leave it before you remember to nurture the marriage?

In knowing the statistics of infidelity, it’s very much a case of
‘forewarned is forearmed.’ You know the statistics. You know it can
happen, and it does. The next challenge for you, should you choose
to take it, is to cheat-proof your marriage as best you can.

There are no guarantees here, but making some effort to nurture
your spouse and your marriage on a regular basis can significantly
reduce the risk of being affected by infidelity in your marriage.

1. Make time to talk to one another. Sharing experiences, talking
about your day, sharing hopes and dreams, these are the things that
intrinsically connect us to one another. It may only take 5 or 10
minutes a day, but the results can be dramatic.

2. Make time to be alone as a couple. Go out on dates. Go for a
walk on the beach or around your neighborhood. It can be as simple
as you want it to be, perhaps giving each other a massage, running
a bath, or sharing a drink together.

3. If you work different times of the day, consider changing jobs
or your work patterns to fit in with your partner. If you work
different shifts to facilitate childcare, make time perhaps once a
week where children are with another family member or friend so you
can work a similar shift and you share your time off together.

4. Does one of you work out of town or state, or spend long
times in a long-distance relationship? Part of cheat-proofing your
relationship may involve you rethinking your living and working
patterns and shifting closer to your work. The way to overcoming
your long-distance woes may be simpler than you think.

Finding proof of your partner cheating is only half the equation.
The real challenge is to know what the tell-tale signs of cheating
are, face the facts when proof is found, develop an appropriate
response, and find ways to overcome the issues surrounding
infidelity so that you can lessen the risk of it happening again.

You will discover how to recognise these signs with this excellent free relationship guide.

You may also wish to read the review of the highly acclaimed ‘How To Catch A Cheating Spouse’ resource in the Relationship Guide Reviews of this website to see if it would meet your needs.