5 Little Things That Can Save Your Marriage – Part 5

Here’s part 5 of your special report: 5 Little Things That Can Save Your Marriage.

They say the sweetest sound to anyone can hear is the sound of their own name.

So how often do you use your spouse’s name when you are speaking to them? If you have to stop and think about this for a minute, that’s normal. It’s not something we think about much, if ever. But I’d like you to take a minute and give this some thought because The Fifth Little Thing That Can Save Your Marriage is as simple as saying your spouse’s name.

Do you use your spouse’s real name or do you use a nickname or pet name such as ‘honey,’ ’sweetie’ or ‘babe?’ And when you use their name or a pet name, do you really hear yourself saying it? Are you aware of it? Do they really hear it? Or does their name blend into the background because you’ve said it so many times? Perhaps you don’t use any name with your partner these days. You may just be saying, ‘Hey,’ when they come through the door.

What I’m asking you to do here is notice, become aware, of what you’ve been doing and what your pattern is with this. Then change it up. Because when you change up the way you speak to your spouse, the way you relate to them changes, and something in the relationship itself changes.

So if you realize you seldom use your spouse’s name, I’d like you to use it today:

For example:

‘Tell me, how was your day, Joe?’
‘Joe, I’ll meet you tonight at 5 at the pizza place.’

It might feel a little bit funny to do this if you’re not used to it. That’s okay. The awkwardness is good. It means you’re doing something new. You’re learning.

If you tend to use the same pet name or term of endearment with your partner, trade it off for a day in favor of your spouse’s real name.

Instead of:

‘Honey, what do you have planned for the weekend?’

Try this today:

‘Susan, what do you have planned for the weekend?’

It’s a subtle shift, but it can be very powerful in the way that it reaches your spouse. By changing your pattern and using your partner’s name, you are saying, ‘I notice you. You are important to me.’

What if you already use your spouse’s name a lot? You can still change it up by using a different form of it. Here’s an example.

Instead of:

‘Mike, I really want to go to dinner Friday night.’

Try using this:

‘Michael, I really want to go to dinner Friday night.’

By making this little change, you’ll become more aware of your partner and you’ll get their attention. You’ll bring a moment of newness into the relationship, which often opens the door to a moment of connection. And isn’t that what you want the most?

P.S. If you’re serious about improving your marriage, take a look at the Win Back Love System. Marriage counseling can be great, but this program is designed to put the power to fix your marriage in your hands, not a therapist. The truth is, no one can change your marriage but you.