5 Little Things That Can Save Your Marriage – Part 4

Welcome to part 4 of your special report: 5 Little Things That Can Save Your Marriage. Remember, I call this report the “Little Things” because the little things can fix your marriage. Something simple like moving toward your partner and touching them warmly on the back or holding a hug a little longer can really enhance feelings of well being, reduce stress and strengthen your bond.

The Fourth Little Thing That Can Save Your Marriage involves touch. To get started, I’m going to ask you to think back to the first time you ever touched your partner. Maybe it was the first time your arms brushed against each other in passing or the first time you held hands. Try to recall the first time you touched each other, and bring all the details to mind. Where were you? What was the season? Was it sunny or cloudy at that moment? Were you alone together or were you surrounded by people? What was it like to touch your partner for the very first time? What was it like to be touched? What do you remember about the texture and temperature of their skin? If you’re recalling the first time you ever held hands, what did their hand feel like? Was their grasp firm or gentle, or both?

How does it feel to remember all the details of this moment? Does it make you feel more open to your partner? Are you reminded of things you love about them?

Sometimes, simply recalling what you’ve enjoyed about touching your partner is enough to feel closer to them. Savor this experience. See how long you can make it last. If you’re doing this exercise with your partner, you may want to talk about it with them and share what you’re remembering. See where the conversation goes. You may be the only one to talk, and your spouse may simply listen. That’s okay. Maybe your partner will share their own first memory of touch. If they do, just sit back and listen. Whether you realize it or not, what you’re doing is creating a moment of connection between the two of you.

If you feel that connection building and you both want to explore it a little bit further, here’s something else you can try. Hold each other’s hands for one minute. Just sit quietly and hold hands, with no agendas, no goals. You might want to close your eyes as you do it. Just feel your partner’s hand. That’s all. Then talk about it. What was it like for each of you to do this?

What if you and your spouse aren’t touching these days and haven’t been for a while? I understand there are real reasons why you may be having problems with touch. Maybe there’s emotional distance between you or the trust has been broken. If this is the case for you, I encourage you to try this exercise yourself and simply think back to the first time you touched your partner. Just revisit the moment in your mind and experience how it feels. Do you find your heart opening to your partner? And if this is not the case, don’t judge it. Just notice it and be aware that this is something you can work on.

P.S. If you’re serious about improving your marriage, take a look at the Win Back Love System. Marriage counseling can be great, but this program is designed to put the power to fix your marriage in your hands, not a therapist. The truth is, no one can change your marriage but you.