2 Simple Tips To Stop Being Invisible

Not everyone is born with high self-esteem and
self-confidence. But you can boost your confidence
so you can face the world on your own terms.

It’s not easy but you can end the emotional carnage
experience the confidence most people can only
dream of.

I recently received this email from a reader:

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Hi Richard,

I’m 30 years old and it seems that I’ve had low
self-esteem for most of that time. As a child I was
always very shy and didn’t really socialize with
other children my age.

As I grew older nothing really changed for me. I
kept a low profile, often settling for something that
was “less” than I wanted – be it position or otherwise -
just so I don’t have to face being judged by other
people.

It’s not really a wonder that I often wish I was this
invisible person that no one else can see – only
because I often think people see me like that (ironic
use of words don’t you think?).

I do know that I can’t continue being like this. I want
to change but I have no idea where to start. What
should I be doing? I appreciate any input you can give
me.

Hoping,

Joanne

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My reply:

I remember watching “The Invisible” man and I
remember thinking to myself that would be a cool
power to have.

You know, no one being able to see you; and you
can pretty much do anything you want and no one
can pin it on you because no one can see you.

Now if only life imitated art in that regard.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t. Being invisible in the real
world means no one notices you – that for all intents
and purposes you are literally and figuratively
invisible.

It is a painful situation to be. People tend to be
surprised when they “finally” notice you are there.
They don’t have you join them and yet you become
the butt of their jokes.

I’ll stop right here because it seems like you are
about to crawl into a box and hyperventilate.
I won’t pull any punches with you – that’s what
it means to be “invisible” to people.

You’ve experienced that so it shouldn’t come as
a shock to you.

What I will to you is this: that’s the life you HAD, and
notice I put the emphasis on had. I do that because of
what you yourself said to me: you wanted to change.

If I were any closer to you I’d give you a hug.

That’s what I want to hear. Those four little words:
“I want to change,” means the difference between
being a wallpaper and being the center of attention.

That being said, I’ll warn you, it’s not going to be
easy. You’ve been like that for almost all your life
and that will take time to change.

BUT, and this is a big but (no pun intended), you
can change it. That’s the most important thing.

Now repeat after me: “I will change, I will change,
I will change…”

Can you feel it? The energy that is now coursing
through your whole being? That’s what you want.
That’s what you need. Now let’s get on changing
shall we?

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Rome wasn’t built in a day, although the myths may
argue with that, but let’s not get side-tracked. That
being said I won’t be giving you instant advise that
can cure all that ails you. I’m not a snake charmer and
besides I prefer snakes to far away from me as possible.

Let me then start by giving you ways to help yourself
be a much more confident person so you get out
of your low self-esteem rut.

Ready? Then let’s move on.

Okay, you can start by not putting yourself down.

You heard me. STOP bashing yourself to pieces.
It’s not really helping you much. On the contrary it’s
actually helping to bring you down.

I don’t think you want that. That’s pessimistic talk.
Try being optimistic. When you do talk to yourself
make it a positive one.

Always look on the bright side of things. Even when
things aren’t exactly going your way give yourself a
boost by giving yourself positive self-affirmations.

I want you to become your own cheerleader.
Remember the saying in Heroes that goes: “save the
cheerleader, save the world.” Well in your case
let the cheerleader save your world.

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Stop comparing yourself to others.

Look here, Angelina Jolie is Angelina Jolie. That’s
who she is and no one can change that.

You are you, and no one can change that either.
They shouldn’t change that and neither should you.

You start comparing yourself to Angelina and I’ll
come over there and give you a good talking over.

My point is our differences is what makes us who
we are. That’s what makes each of us unique from
one another.

Even identical twins have traits and characteristics
that set them apart from one another.

Yes Angelina is a star and all that but I bet you can
do something that she can’t do. Focus on that.
Build upon that.

See, you’ve just turned what could have been a
negative into a positive. That’s what I want you
to continue doing.

Focus on your strengths, turn your weaknesses
into positives, and work your way up from there.

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It will take work on your end for all this to work.
There’s no quick way to go about it. But then again
you can’t take off the layers that have built up over
the years in mere seconds.

You have to peel it back layer by layer so you don’t
destroy the core that is you.

Become gentler and nicer to yourself.

Strengthen yourself so you not only deal with the
criticisms and rejections but you also get to appreciate
and love yourself even with your limitations.